My final trip through the fairy forest.

by Lisa Renee on Thursday, May 19, 2011 at 10:05pm

Going back to work full time was what I wanted to do. I have never tried to hide the fact that I never really was "SAHM" material. I could not adjust. To leave my friends in East Nashville and become "SAHM" at the same time. Tough. Then to be SAHM to two under 3 at the same time, while trying to maintain some sort of professional connection with the world, almost impossible for me. I never really stopped working, managing at point to be doing one consulting job, and two part time jobs all at the same time. It allowed me precious time with Mazzie and Ben, though my sleep patterns may never be the same. Joining Sarah Cannon happened in a whirlwind it seemed like. Schedules had to be adjusted, I quit one of my part time night jobs, finally turning in all my equipment just hours ago. But earlier today, I took one last trip through the fairy forest. A tiny little one lane road that runs to where Maz & Ben have attended a mothers day out every Tuesday and Thursday. It is surrounded by woods and fields. We used to play spot the fairies as we would curve around the tiny bends in the road. Usually, I was able to identify the fairies by name in my mind (Cardinal, Robin, Blue Jay) but to Mazzie and Ben, they were Tink, Mariposa, Sparkle, Rainbow, and whatever other silly names they came up with. We saw a few today. And a large group of cattle lounging next to the creek at the bottom of the hill, right next to the car, so we could roll down our windows and moo to them, eye to eye. As we came out of the forest two large wild turkeys were standing in the way. We honked to make them move. Mazzie and Ben imitated their gobbles the rest of the way. I helped them out and walked them into the class rooms with their backpacks and the lunch I had made (crust cut off) and headed off to work. I had not been able to take them to school the past month due to my training schedule and several 12 hour days I had to pull to get through the month. I had not even had time to think about it, I have had so much on my mind. But I realized today that I had just made my last trip through the fairy forest with my two little brilliant babes. I realized for the first time, I might have enjoyed being a SAHM more than I knew. Every single moment, every single dumped toy box, emptied milk jug, overflowed sink , muddy shoe print, was a blessing. Except maybe that broken glass in the kitchen I stepped on tonight that almost took off two of my toes. I could have passed on that one. Good bye fairy forest in the morning, I will miss your magic.